Believe It!
by Dragon'sHost
Summary: A collection of Naruto drabbles from my tumblr. Mostly crackships and other non-canon pairings. No SS.
1. Mistaken Blame (DeiSaku)

**This is a drabble collection for the rare Naruto requests that I get over on my tumblr.**

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 ** _Title: Mistaken Blame  
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 ** _Pairing: Deidara x Sakura_**

 ** _Requester: empressofeverything_**

 ** _Prompt:_ _"Blow something up again and I'll blow YOU up."_**

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It was the third time this month.

Sakura's eyebrow twitched as she eyed the smoking ruins of her favorite hairdresser's. She'd had to wait a week to get this appointment, and now… this.

A certain blond bomber was going to pay for this. Because Sakura was not footing the bill for repairs.

Under her breath, she warned her (absent) boyfriend, "Blow something up again and I'll blow YOU up."

Meanwhile, two days journey out by clay-bird from Konoha, Deidara sneezed violently. Unaware that Naruto's latest shenanigans had resulted in his impending death at the hands of his girlfriend.


	2. Sandy Meals (GaaLee)

**I would be willing to entertain a couple of requests from here, just to fill out a couple more chapters. So long as the request is left in a review, and that the review isn't solely a demand for a specific pairing but also has an actual comment in there about the existing drabbles. And... no incest, please.**

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 ** _Title: Sandy Meals  
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 ** _Pairing: Gaara x Lee_**

 ** _Requester: babymadchenundgelliebte_**

 ** _Prompt:"Can I get a Gara/Rock Lee story where Gara is making dinner but keeps getting sand in it but thas ok cuz Lee loves Gara and eats it any way"_**

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 _'Not again,'_ Gaara thought, staring at his meal with a blank expression. _'I can't serve this to Lee.'_

The mistake was a small one, and under normal circumstances he wouldn't have even noticed. He lived in a desert after all – it was largely inevitable that sand would get into the food. In fact, it was the subject of an old proverb in Suna, that it seasoned everything. No one from Suna would have looked twice or complained about a few grains in their meal. Only if they were straight up eating pure sand would they even think to comment on it, and even then they'd probably continue eating it out of pure stubbornness and a culturally-imbued unwillingness to insult the host.

But this food wasn't meant for a Suna native. It was meant for Lee. Who was from Konoha, a place distinctly lacking in sand. It was highly unlikely that Lee _wouldn't_ notice the fine particles making his meal uncomfortably gritty.

Actually, normally Gaara wouldn't have even prepared a meal like this, but it was a special occasion. Which just made it even more embarrassing.

They couldn't celebrate the time they'd first met with sand in the food. The fact that they celebrated at all was already an uncomfortable reminder of how Gaara had crushed Lee's limbs with his sand. Sand in the meal would be the proverbial salt in the wound (although in Suna, the phrase was 'sand in the wound,' which only made it worse). And there was definitely a not insignificant amount of the stuff present, from what Gaara could see.

It was at that moment, while Gaara internally debated whether they should go out for street food or find a restaurant open late, that Lee popped into the kitchen.

"Oh, is that dinner?!" Lee exclaimed, cheerfully grabbing the plate from Gaara's grasp. "Hope you don't mind a little taste test first!"

"Wait!" Gaara protested. "That's not…"

Too late. It was already down the hatch.

Gaara sighed and waited for the inevitable disgust.

Lee chewed thoughtfully, and then swallowed. "Crunchy!" he declared. "Very youthful. I like it." And then he took another bite. "Oh wait… I should probably take this to the table first, before I eat it all!"

Gaara had never loved his boyfriend more than he did in that moment.


	3. The Kids Are Not Alright (ShikaSasu)

**I may have created an entire au for this drabble... and I may have to write it in full at some point...**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

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 ** _Title: The Kids Are Not Alright  
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 ** _Pairing: Shikamaru x Sasuke_**

 ** _Requester: sassyhazelowl_**

 ** _Prompt_ _: "No one's forgotten who you are and what you did, you know."_**

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"No one's forgotten who you are and what you did, you know."

Shikamaru stared at his dinner companion, utter disbelief oozing from every scowl line. "And just what am I supposed to have done, Sasuke?"

The other man narrowed his eyes at him. "You know what you did."

"I really, really don't. Enlighten me."

Sasuke scoffed lightly. "Your kid's exhibition match at the Academy. No one is ever going to forget it, because his father snored like a log through the whole thing!"

"At least I show up to important events in my kid's life!" Shikamaru returned, hitting the table with the palm of his hand. It wasn't hard enough to be called a proper slam, but the silverware clinked softly and ripples spread through their water glasses.

"You did not just go there," hissed Sasuke.

"I think I just did. What are you going to do about it?"

Sitting across from the feuding pair, the children in question shot each other a silent look.

"Why are they always like this?" mumbled Shikadai. "You'd think they get tired of it eventually…" Letting out a yawn, he tacked on, "I sure have."

Sarada buried her face in her hands. "They're causing a scene… this is so embarrassing…"

"You would think that supposedly elite shinobi would have noticed that by now."

"Can you divorce your parents?" Sarada wondered aloud.

"Yes!" a voice behind her shouted.

Sarada's hands slipped from her face, and the pair watched in surprise as a blond head popped up on the other side of the restaurant booth.

Boruto looked at them with pity in his eyes, but he nodded understandingly. "It's called Emancipation and I even have copies of the paperwork if you need it."

Before Sarada or Shikadai could respond, the dulcet tones of a woman rose from Boruto's side of the barricade. "And why do you have that, Boruto?"

Paling considerably, Boruto began to slide down the booth. "N-no reason, Aunt Hanabi!" Before he disappeared completely from sight, he whispered back to his friends, "If you're serious about this, come and find me later! I'll have it ready for you!"

The stepsiblings blinked slowly, not sure how to process what Boruto had just offered. But a glance at their fathers - their previous argument now forgotten, but holding hands and talking quietly to each other - convinced them both to slide out of their booth and depart the restaurant immediately.

"What to come to my mom's house with me? She's a pretty good cook," Sarada offered.

Shikadai nodded. "And they won't bug us there for a while, good thinking." Shoving his hands in his pockets, he heaved a heavy sigh. "They're such a drag."

"You said it."


End file.
